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Your child might be academic, creative or sports-focused. Or, their talents may be less ‘visible’ – they may be naturally confident, kind, or sociable, for example.
It’s especially beneficial to help hone your child’s abilities while they’re between the ages of one and seven, as they are learning at a rapid rate during this stage of their lives.
The first and easiest way to find out what makes your child tick is to ask them what makes them happy. What do they think they are good at? If your little one is already in primary school, you could ask what subjects they like the most.
Also give them plenty of time to play freely and choose their own games; when we give them freedom to explore and learn things in their own time, they can exceed our expectations. This is a great way for children to learn about what their strengths are, as well as what they enjoy.
Try these ideas to help you understand your child a little better.
1. Observe your child outside of the classroom
While your child can pick up a lot of knowledge from school, learning isn’t just about what happens in the classroom.
Your child might excel in a certain sport, music, or be able to pick up languages quickly. Their talents might be much more subtle, too — perhaps they have a natural ability to empathize with others or show leadership qualities among a group of peers.
Notice how your child reacts in different environments. This could be at home as your child interacts with family or at the playground with friends. Is your child the one to give instructions? Is your child a problem-solver? Are other kids naturally drawn to them? Is your child patient and kind?
Once you notice a natural affiliation towards a particular skill, you can zone in on it and gently tease it out. For example, if your child shows leadership qualities, you could give them more age-appropriate responsibilities at home.
2. Talk to your wider circle
There’s no need to feel you need to nurture your child’s abilities on your own. Many of us might feel overwhelmed, or question if we are identifying the right things.
So, ask for help from the other adults who are involved in your child’s development. These can be your child’s school teachers, relatives or child minders. Ask them to share what they’ve observed about your child’s interests, as well as any activities where your little one does particularly well.
Simply exposing your child to more of what they enjoy (such as playing music at home or in the car for kids who like to hum and sing) is enough to light the spark and keep it lit.
3. Offer your child a choice of different activities
A great way to discover your child’s abilities is to sign them up for a variety of different activities – artistic, academic, or sports-focused.
You’ll be able to see how they behave and where their natural skills lie. Plus, as your child explores their options, they’ll learn a range of new skills – such as leadership skills and confidence, for example – at the same time.
Why not continue with the activity your child really enjoys to take their ability to the next level?
4. Find inspiration in friends
Children pick up lots of ideas from their friends, so as well as learning lots of important social skills and opening their mind to different ways of life, having a diverse group of playmates is beneficial when it comes to discovering new interests.
Chat to your child after a play session with friends and ask about the highlights of their playtime together. Your child may surprise you with a new word they’ve learned in another language, or amaze you with the first time they attempt a new dance move.
Once you know about your child’s interests, you can encourage them. For example, if your child is interested in picking up new languages, you could get some picture books in different languages, watch foreign language movies, and try a language course when they are old enough.
5. Choose praise, not pressure
Our kids never cease to surprise us, and if you see your child doing something positive while playing – such as showing kindness, or confidence –praise them for it!
Also consider that when parents place overly high expectations on their children, it can lead to a negative impact on their development and mental health. Showing disappointment in your child for not learning the alphabet fast enough, or not winning their race at school sports day can lower their self-esteem and confidence.
So, instead of talking about your expectations for your child, focus on their strengths. Give lots of praise when they do well and offer help when they need it. Let your child find their own way to happiness and success. With the right questions and encouragement, you can help steady them on the journey.
Remember: Everybody’s good at something! Continue to be positive and encouraging about your child’s talents. You’ll soon be able to spot your children’s unique abilities and nurture the exceptional in them.
UTM-EM-057-MAY-21
References
Nidirect government services - Supporting gifted and talented children
Raising Children - About gifted and talented children and teenagers
Raise Smart Kid - How to Raise a Gifted Child
National Association for Gifted Children - No Child Is Just Born Gifted: Creating and Developing Unlimited Potential
Psychology Today - Is Your Child Gifted? What to Look for, Why You Should Know
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